Goodbye dear friend, goodbye

So, last week my laptop crashed (as well as both cars--in the same day. Just goes to show that bad things DO happen in threes.). Probably crashed for good this time. I had been expecting it for months as it had been getting slower and slower and more disagreeable each time I used it. My faithful friend (a gift for securing a permanent position at work from my hubby) has been with me for several years, but has crashed a number of times before. Once completely wiping out some of my most precious photos, including a video my husband had made for my first Mother's Day of Brooke at her birth. (On a side note, I paid over $2100 to try to have that video recovered, but it was irretrievable. I cried--a lot.) It was just a matter of time before it happened again, but what a bummer. Even though we know the end is near does not mean we do not grieve.

Luckily, since I was planning on blowing my ol' Acer out anyways (and after having learned my lesson from the birth video incident), I had already downloaded all photos and files to a number of external hard drives. However, I am now without a computer on the main level. (There's an old desktop in the basement, but with the girls up here or outside, it makes getting to difficult. Besides, the basement is cold and dark and in a word...icky.) Guess I will be buying a new little netbook faster than expected, but until then, I will post what I can from Hubby's laptop whenever I can steal a few moments. (Like now, at 6:00 a.m., after just having fed Avie and before the rest of the family is up.) And, I have so many new posts to put up here....Hang on, readers!

For mama, maman, ma, mother, mommy, mum

I was just on Facebook a few moments ago, wishing my fellow mommies a happy Mother's Day, when I read someone's updated status. It went something like this: "You really never know how much love your heart can hold until you become a mother." The comment resonated with me because it is sooo very true.

It's a love that is so physical, so intense that you feel everything your child does: every tear that comes from a scraped knee, a terrifying nightmare or a broken heart pours down your cheek as surely as it does your child's; every bubble of laughter or impish smile that spreads warmth and happiness throughout your little one will certainly lighten your own heart. You share in their triumphs, their joys, their failures, their hurts. And, you would stop at nothing to keep them safe, protected, healthy and whole. Their lives, their very existence, become the centre of your world and you really and truly understand what it is to love.

It's at that moment that you comprehend what it must have been like for your own mother. Suddenly, you feel overwhelming appreciation for everything she did for you. Now you know why she worried when you didn't call, why she nagged you to study hard at school, why she embarrassed you without meaning to. You realize that she did so much for you--and did it gladly without thought to sacrifice or selfishness because she wanted only the very best for you. For you to grow up happy. For you to be successful. For you to experience your own children and know what it means to adore and cherish someone so completely. You get it. And, you love her all the more for that sudden realization.

So, to all those mommies, grandmommies, stepmommies, mommies-in-law and mommies-to-be out there (and most especially for those in my own life!) thank you for all that you have done and continue to do. I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day!!