You know what is one of the scariest things about this whole cancer ordeal? Having to explain it to a two-year-old.
We wondered what we were going to tell her to when she asked us why her belly hurt after the surgery, when it didn't hurt before she went to the "hospible." But, bless her heart, B has never asked us. She just goes with the flow. Does what is asked of her, no questions. She has grown wise to the pricks and pokes she receives each time someone in scrubs approaches her, but still she rarely complains. Her trust in us--in her parents--to ensure that she never comes to harm is complete and absolute and it breaks my heart.
I asked her the other day if she knew why she was in the hospital, about why her belly hurt. Her response to me: "Because I hurt myself."
I nearly burst into tears at that moment. SHE never did anything to herself. This is NOT her fault and she is not to blame. I only wish I knew who I could blame! I'm really angry right now and I wish there was someone to take this out on.
Pas and I will have to explain to her why we are going to the hospital on Monday before her first chemo treatment, but I don't relish that conversation.
I think you'd be hard pressed to find blame. I'm amazed at how tough and resilient she is. A real heroine. If you'd permit a bit of humour, I'll volunteer as the "someone to take this out on", just let me wear Pas' hockey equipment first. :-)
ReplyDeletethinkin' of you guys,
Guy (and the family)